I have a lot of feelings, sometimes.

Joe has a lot of patience, sometimes. 

ComicL 

I was going through some photos Joe had taken around the house when I came across one that made me wet my pants in fear. Then I laughed for a solid 2 minutes.  I kind of want to blow this up into a poster and hang it at the end of dark hallway. 

…announcing our Mother’s Day Giveaway Winner!

Stay tuned to our Facebook page to participate in upcoming giveaways!  :)

On my way back from the bathroom this morning, I started down the hallway to say good morning to Joe. When this scene unfolded, I turned around and went back to bed. I know Newly is talkative, but this just takes it to a new level. 

There is a certain sun patch on my bedroom carpet every morning around 10am.

Anyone with fur is invited to nap in its glorious warmth.

There is harmony among the various animal species.

But NO SUDDEN MOVES.

(Newly not pictured because he’s a frady cat around my noisy camera.)

We spent Saturday out at my parents’ ranch. It was beautiful and so relaxing. We’ve had several “one last time” moments as their moving plans have changed a time or two. Everything’s bittersweet lately.

The bitter: saying goodbye. living farther away.

The sweet: seeing their dreams fulfilled. hope for momma’s health. 

At church on Sunday they had a “Celebration Service”. Instead of having someone speak, we celebrated the painful and beautiful stories told by people in our community via pre-recorded interviews and live baptisms using cardboard testimonies. I had tears brimming the entire time. 

There is something so powerful about being able to rejoice with other people.  Even more so when you do it in a crowd. You can feel the joy multiplying. I have noticed this in my daily life as well, not just in church. Being able to celebrate with someone when they’ve reached a milestone, conquered an obstacle, or unexpectedly had something amazing handed to them. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. 

I can recall a number of times where I have been in the midst of something GREAT (being engaged, moving to a new state, getting a new job, getting a new pet, etc.) and have been hit with judgement, jealousy, and just all around negativity or suspicion from people around me. It feels awful. The first time I was made to feel horrible for something good happening in my life, I journaled about it, vowing to make every effort possible to never make anyone else feel that way.

I know both sides of this for sure. There are some things I want so badly and work so hard for. When I see someone come across those things easily, and they don’t seem to appreciate them, I get a twinge of jealousy and frustration. It’s a hard pill to swallow. The only thing that helps me is to remember what its like on the other side…when I was the one experiencing something good and someone rained on my parade. 

I love that I have a handful of family and friends who have always rejoiced with me at each new turn in my life. You really don’t have to understand WHY in order to love and support someone. Sometimes logic isn’t the best answer. Sometimes following a pull in your heart makes you look completely crazy, but you know its worth the risk. People who truly love you will recognize that. 

I have very few friends/family who follow the all-American “ducks in a row” way of life.  We’re all kind of wandering in all directions, sometimes asking God to be present, sometimes shutting Him out completely and looking at our own feet, sometimes completely forgetting what we started out looking for. We’re all learning as much as we can and soaking up as much life as we can and spreading as much love as we can. That’s what makes life beautiful.

If someone makes it halfway across a rushing river and asks for a “Hip-hip-hooray” I gladly holler. It doesn’t matter that the stepping stone they’re on doesn’t have enough pretty moss for my liking, or if I hate rivers, or if I think they’d be better at bowling than hiking. I rejoice with them, because halfway across a rushing river on a moss-depraved rock is better than sitting down and giving up. I gladly throw out 2 hips and a hooray because hiking makes them HAPPY and fulfills something in their soul that they were DESIGNED by God to do.  (all allegorical, of course, unless you’re a hiker…then it works)

“You aren’t ready for marriage.”

“You’re too immature for that.”

“You’ll never make it in a new state.”  

“That job doesn’t make enough money.”

“Why don’t you have kids yet?”

“Why’d you get a dog?”

“Someday you’ll learn…and then you’ll be miserable like the rest of us.”

Maybe the nay-sayers don’t realize that squashing joy in others only causes their own negativity cloud to grow. The people in your life don’t need your approval to follow their dreams, but they do crave your support. 

My favorite part of the weekend was sitting cross legged with my parents on the concrete in the middle of the driveway. They made it feel like a party. I love that they live passionately and rock the norm. I have a lot to learn on the subject of not letting the opinions of others hinder me from moving forward in life. Watching them live their lives inspires me to follow my dreams (no matter how crazy or illogical) despite those pesky nay-sayers. 

What can I celebrate with you today? I have my confetti ready. 

# mushycoupleproblems

# greekfacialfeaturesproblems

We went to the Medieval Fair on Saturday. I’ve been invited two or three times in previous years, and something always comes up that takes a bigger priority. Not this year. We made it happen! Saturday morning as we locked up the house and headed out the door I exclaimed to Joe “Look! We’re doing something fun! Outside of the house!”  

We’re homebodies. Our “parties” usually consist of getting takeout food and having a movie marathon with animals snuggled in our laps.  I like it that way. We’ve got a good rhythm, but sometimes its good to shake it up. So we went, and you know what?  It was really fun.  By the end of the day I was definitely ready to go back to the sanctuary of my house, but it had been worth it.  

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I seem to be “all or nothing” when it comes to relationships/friendships. I have a couple of very close friends from Miracle Mountain Ranch. That place is like a pressure cooker for quality friendships. I’ve also made a few very close friends online. We can “ugly cry”, bare our hearts and souls without judgement, and challenge each other to keep growing. It’s hard to live far away from friends like these.

It’s difficult for me to meet new people. I think I’ve worked hard to sort through a lot of my issues with feeling shy/insecure, but sometimes its not that. Sometimes I just don’t want to go through the painstaking process of starting at “small talk” level with someone, not knowing where it will end up. It’s kind of selfish of me, actually.

I used to obsess about whether or not someone enjoyed my company, replaying everything I’d said to them in a conversation. Then one day Joe said the less time I spent analyzing, and the more time I spent just doing what I love with my time, the more I would find people who were supportive of the same things as I am. So for a while now, I’ve done just that. Pioneer Artisanworks was born in the midst of that. Unapologetically and confidently doing what I love, even if it doesn’t make sense to most people. 

 In that, I have found more and more people who have a few things in common with me. Each relationship/friendship has a place, and that’s not something I could have said I believed a couple of years ago. I’ve always liked my tight knit circle of friends, and it used to seem wasteful and silly to shoot the breeze with someone I didn’t know well. I’m proud to say that I’m not that way anymore, and I can feel the way it is changing me. My reserved approach was always based on protecting myself, and the more confident I become, the easier it is to let more people into my life. 

(Isn’t this picture awesome? It makes me happy.)

(Lily and I wore matching flower crowns to the fair, and someone always asks if we’re sisters when we’re together. I should have topped up my purple streaks so we could have been hair twins too.)

(Also met up with my MMR roomie, Bethany)

Small talk isn’t trivial if it was the bright spot in someone’s day. It’s okay to open up a little with someone without pouring out the entire floodgates of my soul every time. Not sharing EVERYTHING doesn’t mean its completely shallow. “ALL OR NOTHING” is usually regarded as a brave and positive thing. In this case, however, I think “all or nothing” was me being cowardly and it was having a negative effect on my ability to interact with the people in my life. 

I’m finding the fun in making connections with people, and most importantly, I’m seeing the value in those budding friendships, regardless of how fast or slow or deep they grow. I’m along for the ride. I’m repeatedly making an effort to let go of trying to plan everything to the letter in my life. I’m getting there, at least.